Pilgrimage to the Heart

Transcription of part of a talk given in Iona Village Hall, 16/08

I live on a small island which has been and still is an important place of pilgrimage for many. But what comes to mind for me, when I hear the word ‘pilgrimage’ is the pilgrimage of the heart, rather than a physical one.

The pilgrimage of remembering our true nature. A pilgrimage which we can undertake at any given moment of our life.

Many of us on a spiritual journey are motivated by becoming a different person.

But what are we neglecting if our main motivation on our search is to become somebody who we are not already?

This motivation is based on the belief, that we have X amount of time, to become who we want to be. We live our lifes as if it’s a fact that we will still be alive tomorrow.

I want to make an appeal for a pilgrimage which does not depend on having X amount of time. A pilgrimage which does not need any external factors to be fulfilled. A pilgrimage which can happen, right now, in this instant.

There is a story of a young man who comes to the banks of a wide river whilst travelling home. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him, he ponders for hours on how to cross such a wide barrier.

Just as he is about to give up, he sees a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young man yells over to the teacher, “Oh wise one, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river”?

The teacher pauses for a moment, looks up and down the river and yells back, “My son, you are on the other side”.

The striving to get anywhere, to become somebody, can be a distraction. It can get in the way of seeing what’s right in front of us. Seeing what is right here, right now.

Every day of our life gives us opportunity to practice. Fear can be an object of practice. Irritation can be an object of practice.

Similarily, the wonders of the world can be objects of practice. The incredible beauty of a flower. The giggle of a baby. The smell of a forest after rainfall. The nightsky.

Nature is full of teachings about that which is bigger than our personal story. We only need to remember to open our eyes from time to time. To pause, stop and listen.

Our whole life can be a pilgrimage, moving closer to our true nature. Some of the teachings we receive are painful and some are incredibly beautiful and enjoyable.

When we remember, that everything can be used as a practice, these are the moments in which the contraction stops. The wishing for things to be different.

Carl Rogers said: “ The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

I believe there is a lot of truth in this. I believe the striving to become somebody different can get in the way of us changing, since it is driven by a belief that there is something ‘wrong’ with us. I believe the biggest shifts in our life can happen, when we let go of that belief. When we stop fighting our experience in any given moment and first of all meet it with acceptance, compassion and curiosity.

If I experience something that frightens me, the fear doesn’t go away any faster if I beat myself up for being afraid, for still not having made enough progress etc.

The fear – or whichever unpleasant feeling we are talking about – can soften if I first of all accept that it’s here. If I meet it with an attitude of ‘Ok, there is fear right now. How can I meet this? What would be of support right now?’

This is a completely different starting point to assuming something is ‘wrong’ that needs to be fixed.

Poet Rilke wrote: “Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”

We can attend to whatever is here with eyes of compassion, looking at what hurts in us and learning to be a good friend to ourselves.

In this process it is very important to remember that there will be moments of pain and exhaustion, just like on a physical pilgrimage. But if we’re undertaking a physical pilgrimage, we wouldn’t give ourselves a hard time because we develop a blister or experience a cramp.

And this is crucial on our inner pilgrimage: to remind ourselves that there isn’t anything we shouldn’t experience. There isn’t anything that is wrong. Experiencing a blister or soreness is not a sign of failure. It’s part of walking.

A belief that really isn’t supportive on the way is that we have to work out everything by ourselves. I am sure all of us have made the experience in difficult situations in our life that support from others is really important. And yet, so often we still refuse to look for it or even accept it when it’s offered. I can certainly say about my inner journey that support from others has made the biggest difference, and yet I still often step into the ego-trap of ‘I should be able to work this out by myself by now.’

The last point I would like to make is:

I believe all of us have innate goodness inside us. There are no exceptions.

It can become obscured to the point where it’s not visible anymore, but I believe that doesn’t mean it’s not there. The simple proof of this is: We feel good, when we do good. We feel uneasy, when we act in ways that we know aren’t really skillfull.

I love the quote of the Buddha on the start of many of his discourses.

‘Oh nobly born, remember who you really are.’

Yes, all of us sometimes get lost, we loose touch. But that doesn’t mean that we are ‘bad’. It means we have become distracted, taken a detour.

We can ask ourselves some questions ever so often to come back to our path when we’ve lost it:

What do I deeply care about? What REALLY matters to me?

What do I want to nourish in myself?

What do I want to bring to this world?

Then we can see the distractions left and right on our way, but keep walking in the direction our heart, like a compass has pointed out to us. And then there is nowhere to go, no end goal to achieve. In the end, it’s all about simply remembering what is already here, inside us.

The beauty of the pilgrimage to the heart is, that we can return to it, at any given time. That since there is nowhere to get to and since this pilgrimage is not dependent on time, we can return, again and again, to our true nature, no matter how many times we step into a pothole or loose our way. The door to our heart never fully closes and when we pause and listen deeply, we will find the signposts, leading us back.